Say No to giving up, I am the winner of this competition dude

Last night, I tried to sent an email to Prof Khaleed in KAUST. My big passion on that time was I am the winner of KAUST scholarship in sensor laboratory under him. I was thinking of my big dream to bring my parents and also husband and my parents in law to doing umra and hajj together. I was thinking when I know KAUST-the biggest Saudi arabia University which allow female student to study in engineering, offer the scholarship that I never imagine before. I was so excited when one of the profesor in sensor lab offer there reply my e-mail and interest on my research. I was so amazing when I can do all my application easily. Then I built my big dream in my life after marriage. If I am the winner of this scholarship, all my big dream will be come true.

But today morning all that dream become a puzzle of life, which I should manage all one by one start from the first step. I opened my yahoo mail, then I read the email from prof khaleed. I can not awarded the scholarship and I can not be the KAUST student in this time. What was I felt? sad ? desperate ? angry ? wanna cried? NO, I am OK. Even I have a little feeling that I am not really sincere, but my husband give me the motivation that "this is the best choice given by Allah, we stiil can go saudi doing umra and hajj with another way" I realize maybe I should study more and more to be qualify. This is the rule given by Allah for me to study. I am not worthy in this time, I am not giving up, my spirit still on flame. " Someday you can go there to be the student my dear maybe not the doctoral student, maybe u can be the post doctoral student. And someday we can go umra and hajj together with the best way choosen by Allah" he said. From this failure I can learn how to be the best candidate, someday, the prayer of my husband and me will be come true because Allah will hear everything and will give everything. 

"failures are people who did not realize how close he was to the success of distance when he has given up" (Thomas Alva Edison)

Now I raise my hand and stepped my foot start to run and collect all the puzzle make it into one frame which called new life. Start to built my dream with the way Allah gives to me. I wonder that it will be very amazing, more amazing that if I can get the scholarship in KAUST now. Because the journey will be longer and maybe I will faced allot of new experience, besides experience is the best teacher. I wonder that I still life and breathe easily in this second, Allah still gives me the air to breathe the strength to thinking more and more. I am not die and I will life in this world until all my bussines completed (Insya Allah).

Thanks Allah, you give me the best husband ever, he knows when I fall, he tries to help me to stepped up my foot when I felt weak for walk, he helps me to raise my head when I felt so tired to look up, he hold my hand and learn me how to choose another way. Thanks Allah, you give me breath and health till this second. Please Allah, give me the fire to running up to be the winner in another chance.